Lemony Flavored Laxative

As I look one month back, fall 2008 seemed to be a good semester. I had fifteen credits- six courses, aced the five and was decent on the sixth- not bad considering I had two of the hardest engineering courses BYU had to offer. I thought I had a perfect plot to get into a good grad school. I had three more semesters, I was working on a robotic competition, and as my seniors convinced me, I could have had a research job with one of the professors in winter. As I look back, I had a decent plan and a good feeling in general. I felt slightly optimistic about the future.
This morning, everything looks fine. The weather seems bitterly cold as expected in January days of Utah. My room-mate wakes up at 7:15 am after wrestling for fifteen minutes with the annoying sound of 7 o'clock alarm. As he's getting dressed to prepare for a new day at school, I am silently lying in the bed, trying to sleep without success. I don't have to go to school, not because I don't have any classes on Wednesdays, but because I can't. I am bed-ridden with a medical condition. So, it is kind of complex- one part real; one part imaginary. Which part was real? Perhaps it was pain, distress and diarrhea which was not even distantly real a couple of months back. And the imaginary part was perhaps the future that seemed so real a couple of months ago- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Both of which sadly turned out to be painful moments spent sitting on a toilet bowl.
Colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure. My roommates would testify. I had to drink 30 oz.( three bottles) of lemony flavored laxative over two dozes at six hours interval. “It wouldn't be that bad”, I kept on forcing that idea to myself. And when it was time to take the first doze, I was ready for it- ready for that lemony flavored laxative. The first sip was all lemon! Not bad. In fact the whole of the first bottle was not different than lemonade. And I somehow managed to enjoy the first doze of laxative- all one and half bottles- all 15 ounces of that lemony flavored laxative. Within the next hour, I felt the effect. I went (probably by now everybody knows where), and did my thing(probably by now everyone knows what). It was bad. I think the session lasted for half an hour. I won't go into details because it is not funny at all! The second session was equally bad, but the third blew me away. When I came out of the restroom that day, I had beaten my personal record of the longest session ever- the whole two and half hours. Everything had to go! And everything went.
So after breaking some kind of weird personal record, I realized it was time for another doze. This is pain! Oh, this is funny too. The first sip of the second doze of lemony flavored laxative was not lemony at all. Disgusting, smelled as bad as what I had thrown out. Nevertheless, took the first bottle down the throat – in tears and with sad humor. Almost had the second doze finished before I realized I was going to throw up. And so I did, almost whole of the second doze of the lemony flavored laxative. That felt good in some ways. But the problem that constantly bugged me was that if colonoscopy test comes out poor because of that single event, I had to repeat the whole preparation again. May be this time it would require an orange flavored laxative, because I had made up my mind, I won't be taking any lemony flavors there on!

The next day, I had my colonoscopy done. I had to wait for close to an hour to start the procedure. As my name was called upon by a nurse, I silently walked into the cabin. The nurse asked me to get dressed with the robes that she handed me. The funny part was I spent something like 10 minutes figuring out which were the sleeves and which laces tied the other. Didn't get it right the first time.
“ The first one goes at the back , the second one comes at front.” The nurse smiled.
“ Sorry about that!”
So I went inside the restroom again to change and got it right the second time. And I had to seat on a waiting room, before I was finally called for the exam. All the time, I was worried that the procedure would be painful, because they were going to insert a tube through there and all the way till there. I was taken to a surgery room. Dr. Bodily started a casual conversation.
“So where are you from, Ashray?”
“I am from Nepal.”
“ We are going to give you sedative and perform your colonoscopy. You won't be feeling anything throughout this procedure.”And he was so right. I was given nasal supply of some kind of sedative which felt pleasant for few minutes and then completely knocked me out. The next thing I remember was a familiar face of my friend, Matthew Yancey, who drove me to the hospital and stayed there throughout the procedure.
“Where am I ?” No, thats not what I exactly said. But I was sure I was babbling some words in English that would sound foreign to any English speaker. I had no control over what I was saying. I said something like.
“ I was just given some sedative and now they will do my colonoscopy.”
“ No Ashray, the procedure is complete, you are in the recovery room right now.”
“ Really ? So what happened?”
Matt went on explaining what Dr. Bodily had told him. I was listening with semi-conscious mind, but I was sure I understood most of it. The nurse dropped by a little later.
“How are you?”
“Alright, but I feel some kind of pain in stomach.”
“Oh thats because we had to pump in some air. You can use the restroom and try getting some air out if you want.”
“ No, I think I am fine. I will probably leave home.”
“ Wait, I will get you a wheel chair.”